BUILDING EMOTIONAL FITNESS

Being able to choose how you think and feel every day and coping with whatever life throws at you, free from stress, anxiety and worry is probably one of the most critical factors essential in today’s world. And this applies in all spheres of life, be it our personal life or work life. To choose how we think and feel, we must first understand the nature and purpose of emotions and thoughts.Our instincts stimulate the emotional part of our brain so that we can feel our most basic needs. This creates emotions which drive us towards or way from things in order to satisfy our needs which in turn stimulates our thinking so that we make decisions regarding how to best satisfy our needs. This relationship between our instincts and the emotional and rational parts of our brain represent a virtuous circle which helps us to identify and satisfy our needs. But it can turn into a vicious circle when our needs are not met. Our needs are both physical and psychological but when they are not met our emotional brain demands satisfaction. This can overwhelm our ability to think rationally by triggering our fight and flight response which creates physical tension in our body and drives our thinking into a defensive and protective pattern which can result in panic, anxiety worry, stress, and depression. Romantic breakdowns, friends changing, marriage break down, losing a job, parent’s pressure, failing an exam and extraordinary events like deaths, serious illnesses and natural disasters etc can occur without a warning.Emotionally resilient people are more effective at managing stress and to cope with issues and problems than their non-resilient peers. There is this book by Paul Bird titled "Emotional Fitness...changing the way we think and feel". According to the book, six core instincts that drive human behavior are Survival - Engagement - Achievement - Reward - Control - Harmony. It says that 6 P's we need to manage for changing the way we think and feel are Perspective - People - Purpose - Pleasure - Power - Peace. This will help us achieve happier, more emotionally fit lives. We have to protect ourselves with skills that help us bounce back every time, all the time. And of course, to be emotionally fit, one has to be physically fit as well so that healthy body leads to a healthy and wealthy mind. Even little exercise releases chemicals in our brain that lift our mood. It can help us to sleep better, have more energy and keep our heart healthy. And of course, one needs to sleep well. I believe we need to sleep seven to eight hours on an average to make our body and mind to rest fully.

SLEEPING OUR WAY TO FITNESS

In a small study of Stanford University's swim teams, researchers tracked swimmers' performances during their usual sleep/wake patterns, and then after they extended their sleep to 10 hours per day for 6 to 7 weeks. After getting more sleep, athletes swam a 15-meter sprint 0.51 seconds faster, reacted 0.15 seconds quicker off the blocks, improved turn time by 0.10 seconds, and increased kick strokes by 5 kicks. I need anything between 6 to 8 hours of sleep for a healthy day ahead. I have many friends who I see finding themselves wide awake after a few hours of sleep, or waking up often during the night. This happens to me too many a times. It is called "parasomnia" or "sleep maintenance insomnia," and it's much more common than people think. A new generation of sleep scientists are overturning the conventional wisdom about parasomnia. They say: You can do it. With a few simple changes in our routine, a little visualization, a couple of surprisingly counter-intuitive moves and perhaps an attitude adjustment, a peaceful night of slumber can be ours. Here's their best advice: Throw out your definition of a good night's sleep: Just as three square meals a day has given way to all-day grazing and smaller portions, "what's good for us" has changed here, too. Thinking its necessary to stay asleep for 8 hours straight may be unrealistic for may who have the problem of "parasomnia". Just as we experience a dip in alertness mid-afternoon, the inverse is a dip in sleepiness in the middle of the night. There's strong evidence that there's a kind of awakening that's totally normal. I have read somewhere that even waking every 60 to 90 minutes can be part of a healthy sleep pattern. The deeper stages of sleep, or REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, occur about every 90 minutes and get longer as the night goes on, so our brain might become more alert between those cycles. Since we're conditioned to think that waking during the night is a problem, when it happens, we panic. That reaction causes our brains to awaken even further. If you find yourself awake in pre-dawn hours, we should first assess our physical state. Do we have an ache, a cramp, or need to go to the bathroom? If so, we need to take care of it. If we don't have a physical complaint, then chances are we are experiencing a normal stage of the sleep cycle. Knowing this helps replace worries that we will be useless without 8 solid hours of sleep with more neutral thoughts. The useful thought is: ‘I can handle the disruption and still feel rested.’ Getting bed-ready: Simply taking 15 minutes to sit quietly, meditate, pray, or do rhythmic breathing can allow our mind to slow down enough to sleep through the night. Establishing any ritual that we do before bed -- anything but checking our e-mail! -- will do more than relax us right then and there. The repetition also conditions our brain and body for sleep.

LIFE LESSONS

Sometimes thinking about our life and figuring out what we have learnt thus far is just as important as living our lives. We all live our lives and go through various phases -- some of these phases are very distinct and give varied kind of experiences and make us learn and unlearn a lot of things – we may even learn things which we may have never dreamt of. Here are some lessons that I have learned thus far in my life and I pass this on to you with the simple hope that it helps you in some way at some point in your life. 1.Compassion helps us understand our place in the world and ensures we are emotionally well rounded. 2.Our health is our life. We should try our best to lead a healthy life. 3.Bad things do happen to good people (also). We need to be prepared and absorb it as it comes and keep our balance. That’s what I call Emotional Fitness. 4.Healthy mind is more important than a healthy body 5.They say, time heals all wounds… regardless of how we feel right now. 6.Greed and bad intention should bury even the lucky eventually 7.Laughing, crying, screaming, abusing, praising and anger… All are vital. All make us human. 8.We should feel proud and savor our young days and the friends we had and the time we spent together and strive to keep meeting all old friends from time to time to feel young and happy. 9.Life is uncertain and we should not hesitate to do what we want to do and oppose the bad. Sometimes there is hesitation in doing that & I feel hesitation is the product of fear. And most of us do not fear to die, but we have ‘FEAR’ in us only when we have near and dear ones around us >>> we fear only for people whom we care for and love. 10.Love is great. It feels great to be loved and at the same time care and love for others – it could be for your parents, your spouse, and your child. 11.People deserve a second chance, but may be not a third. 12.Carelessness is the root of failure 13.Money makes life ‘easier’ -- but only when the money is yours, clean and free. 14.Motivation comes occasionally. We should act on it while we are motivated. 15.Attracting & infatuation works in the short term, but like minds will only mesh in the long run. 16.Life is round. Whatever one does in life, one gets back in due course of time. 17.Patience generally pays off in the end – may not be true always... so beware. 18.No matter how much you care, some people just don't care back. Be off them. 19.Attitude is good, but attitude beyond a point becomes arrogance. There is a thin line between attitude & arrogance. Control your attitude or it controls you. 20.Detailing of things is very important. 21.It always better to be planned and systematic. It has no bad side effects. 22.No two people can be fully compatible. Even parents may not be compatible with their children. Compatibility is all about how much we care for, love and need the other person. 23.There are some people in this world who change jobs, spouses, and friends – but never think of changing themselves. 24.Change can only come with the ability to accept one’s mistakes and drawbacks. 25.We can keep going for long after we think we can't. 26.No matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

MASTERING OURSELVES

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing ourselves is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength, mastering ourselves is true power. Being the master of ourselves goes deeper than getting up when the alarm goes off, although that's an important first step. It means more than controlling our spending or eating habits, although that too is essential. It means more than exercising, even when you don't feel like it, or reading a good book when you would prefer to sit in front of the TV and eat wafers. 1.We must control thoughts. The greatest power we ever got is the power of our thoughts. There is an Intelligence inside us that can elevate our life at the highest level. Everyone should learn to collaborate with this Intelligence which is organized to react on our intentions and to create with us a life of abundance and happiness. Thoughts are energy. Every thought carries an energy level. Our choice: we choose thoughts which lower our energy level, or we choose thoughts which increase our energy level. It's in our hands! Or better: it's in our head! How we will feel and act depends on what we think. Every action and emotion is preceded by a thought. Once we've learned how to become the master of our thoughts, we become the master of our life! 2.We must control our view of ourselves. If we were able to judge ourselves by the same standards that we apply to our friends and family, we might be able to gain a better viewpoint. Keeping a positive spin on our abilities can make a major difference. 3.To master ourselves, we must master our emotions. So many of us allow moods to control ourselves. If the day is bleak, we get bleaker. If the night is dark, we get darker. We take our emotions to an extreme, and never really become the master of our fate. 4.To become a master, we must practice. By its very nature, Mastery requires practice. It requires work. It requires dedication, change, sacrifice. 5.We must protect ourselves from self-pity. Self-pity is our worst enemy. 6.Give ourselves a push. Set goals to work on the parts you want to master first. Set a specific, detailed goal, a date for achievement, then plan out your path to success. 7.Learn to like ourselves 8.Don't take ourselves so damn seriously All of the above seems so simple and very elementary, but it is easier said than done. Those who can master it, I am sure are successful in getting what they want out of life.

A NEW BEGINNING!

A NEW BEGINNING! After 2 long years I'm back to my blogging world, hopefully just not blogging world only... Time can perhaps be the worst of times; or perhaps the most enlightening. Could be the time of wisdom, or the time of foolishness; it could have been the season of Light or the season of Darkness; the spring of hope or the winter of despair. But whatever it is, there is always an end to a particular phase and the start of a new beginning. At least, that’s what most people would say! Can I dare say no?

Last decade that we have all lived through was possibly a very significant time of our lives. Some of us must have grown up from being a baby to being a young girl or boy, others would have grown from youth to adulthood, and some from adulthood to old age. And, others would have reached what we today call as ‘the new 30’ – oh I mean those who touched 40. Some would understand what I mean… he he. And there would be many who would have been born during this time and now just about getting exposed to the various nuances of life. A decade that began with the horrible sight of the burning towers, a decade which saw the world economy grow, and more importantly our Indian economy and at the same time witnessed the worst ever global economic meltdown. Talking of the meltdown, I still vividly recollect what a time it was; there was complete uncertainty in the private sector. The global layoff wave did hit the Indian shores, and suddenly the jobless numbers in the country climbed in just about a couple of months. Around a million people must have lost jobs during the slowdown. The worst thing about losing a job or a salary cut — and more so during the downturn— was getting a handle on the EMIs. Yet, in the midst of all this, India emerged as a strong winner, and that surely make all of us proud of our country. India is perhaps the best place to be in today.

We are here at the dawn of the new decade, not willing to stagger in the nastiness of the past or rest on its laurels but to look forward, crystal gazing into the future with great expectations! New time, new hope, learning from mistakes and creating happier times. The unknowns of the coming time only exaggerate our expectations. The only certainty is us and we have to make it! Expand our horizons; discover new worlds and ideals as we constantly learn new ways. Focus on the positives and discard all the negatives. You now have the wonderful opportunity. Believe that the best is yet to come. India is in great shape and the coming decade is perhaps the best decade for all of us. India is certainly in the forefront in leading the world on many fronts in the coming decade. With our youthful population, we are definitely a nation pregnant with potential.

BUILDING BRAND 'ME'

Inspired by Gill Corkindale(an executive coach and writer based in London. She works with managers and leaders from Europe, Asia, Africa, Latin America and the Middle East to develop strategies for business effectiveness and personal change.)

What do you think? Is personal branding vital for success at work? Are there any drawbacks to marketing ourself in this way? If so, what should you do about it? Assuming that Personal branding is now a prerequisite for career success, what does our brand need to offer?

• Rethink the way we view our career. Don’t think of ourselves as an employee but as an asset . Ask ourselves: What do I do that brings value? What I am most proud of?
• Being authentic. Be honest about who you are -- your attributes and qualities. If you know yourself, you can promote an honest brand.
• Learning from the big brands. Identify what makes us distinctive from the competition. What have we done recently to make our self stand out? What would our colleagues or our customers say is our greatest strength?
• Make ourselves visible. Build our profile internally and externally. Ways to do this include networking, signing up for high-profile projects, showcasing our skills in presentations or workshops, writing for internal or external publications, volunteering for committees or panel discussions at a conference.
• Being consistent. Ensure that our message is consistent. If it is erratic, it will undermine our efforts. Everything we do -- and choose not to do -- contribute to our personal brand, from the way we talk on the phone to the way we behave at meetings or write emails.
• Balance substance with style. Don’t forget that the way we do things is often as important as what we do.
• Build and manage our marketing network. Our friends, colleagues, clients, and customers are an important marketing vehicle for our brand. What is said about us will determine the value of our brand.
• Learn to influence. Use our personal power, our role and our network. But use them sensitively and intelligently, or else we will not be regarded as a credible or trustworthy leader.
• Seek feedback. It’s critical to keep checking the value of our brand. This can be done by formal methods such as 360 feedback or informally, by asking people around us for honest and constructive feedback on our performance. Another good way to check is to go for job interviews, regardless of whether we wish to change jobs, which will help you test our market value.
• Reassess. Keep checking what motivates us. What's our personal definition of success? Write a personal statement about why we work and check it regularly.

MASTERING YOUR POWER HOURS

We all want to make our work day more productive. To enable this, we need to start watching our body clock. Where there’s chaos, there’s stress. Where there’s order, there’s beer. So why should we tolerate workdays that feel chaotic? Between meetings, phone calls and surprise parties, it’s almost impossible to stick to our well-intended plan. But if we can follow these simple guidelines all day, the payoff will be huge: less stress and more energy.

Best time to do the hardest thing you’ll do all day
Early morning. Your personal periscope isn’t the only thing to rise a couple of hours before you wake up. The stress hormone cortisol does. And this change triggers an increase in your blood-sugar level. As a consequence, this gives you the energy and momentum to manage difficult situations effectively. While too much cortisol can make you feel overwhelmed, it’s also what contributes to the ‘fight-or-flight’ ability to finish that project that’s hanging over your head—or to storm into your boss’s room and ask for a raise.

Bonus: The morning is also the time when you’re least likely to activate ulcers.

Best time to make a presentation
10 am Morning is the time of day when your voice is most rested. And by nine or 10 am, you’ve surely had got at least one chance to drink some water; a good dose of hydration will help eliminate early-morning raspiness.

Best times to stretch at office
10.30 am, 2.30 pm and 4.30 pm

Stretch every few hours to avoid back and shoulder tightness that comes from hunching over a keyboard. Here’s how you can stretch your muscles even while at work: clasp your hands behind your back and lift them straight up; hold for 10 seconds. This will open your chest and relax your shoulders and back. If you want to stretch your glued-to-the-chair glutes, cross your left leg over your right, resting your left ankle on your right knee. Bend forward at the waist and hold the stretch for 10 seconds. Then switch legs and repeat.

Best time to read reports with lots of numbers in them
Early afternoon
Our vision is often a bit blurry in the early morning and sharpens over a few hours.

Best time to make major strategic decisions
Late morning
This is when your body temperature is rising, your alertness is up, and your brain’s ability to process information is at its best. Most people also find they’re best at problem-solving around now. Scientists think your rise in temperature keeps your mind more aroused. And why we keep asking for a transfer to the Caribbean islands.


Best time to drink coffee or take a walk
3 pm
While other people rely on the caffeine method to jump-start their central nervous systems in the morning, you can use it to get you through the afternoon slump. Drink 250gm of a caffeinated drink about 30 minutes before a meeting and you’ll feel more alert. Sworn off the stuff? Take a brisk 15-minute walk around the halls. It’ll help re-stimulate the hormones associated with alertness.

Best time to make or return calls
3.30 pm
Waiting for that caffeine to kick in? Do some mindless tasks meanwhile (ones that won’t get you fired). Some person-to-person stimulation— even over the phone—can help revive you enough so you can finish the day strong.

(Extract from Men's Health Magazine)